I. Romanticize. Everything.
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, so in the interest of timeliness, I want to talk about love. Just not, you know, love love. I want to talk about the love that a girl in her early 20s has for a misfit collection of fictional characters.
The way we interact with characters in books, movies and TV varies widely: maybe you project onto your favorite hero, ship yourself with the villain or just ship the hero and the villain. Likely, it’s some combination of the three — and the feelings expand to an inexhaustible list of archetypes and narrative dynamics.
Our parasocial relationships with fictional characters (which can include celebrities, influencers and the like) are inevitable, unless you intend to never consume media or look at a screen. Writers want us to fall in love with their characters, after all.
These relationships can be crutches that damage our real life relationships or ways to build self-confidence and exercise empathy. But regardless, they reveal a lot about our desires. That’s where it gets fun.
Bastard x Gremlin: A love story for the ages?
In 2019, a trend erupted in fandom spaces about “shipping dynamics” — essentially the character archetypes we like to see best in romantic or platonic relationships on-screen.
These character tropes are specific-but-relatable, like “bastard with a heart of gold” or “gentle giant” or “just some gremlin.”
A Vox article about the trend sums up the psychological ramification of your preferred dynamic with one question I like: “What do you find most appealing about human relationships?”
If you like enemies to lovers, you might like the idea that someone has seen the worst parts of you and loves you all the more for them. If you like childhood best friends that later become lovers, you might be inclined to codependency. If you like fake dating, maybe you just really like to stir the romantic tension pot. The list goes on.
The Vox question can be answered — or at least furthered — by the one true ship dynamic: a character you can relate to in some way and a character you’re attracted to. These characters aren’t capable of loving us back (😥), but they sure can love other characters we also love.
If you like engaging some hardcore introspection as much as I do, figure out what your favorite ship dynamic is. I guarantee you you’ll learn something about yourself. For better or worse.
Throw out your books. Read fic instead.
We’ve also turned our parasocial relationships with characters into ways to build community through fan-made content, which I think is very sexy and fun of us. What’s the point of engaging in something fully in a vacuum when you could instead be reminded that you’re understood by other people?
As I once concluded in a college essay about the phenomena of fanfiction, one of the things that makes fandom so appealing to me (someone who wants to be creative but rarely has big ideas) is the fact that the characters already exist. It’s more convenient than original fiction that way; you don’t have to do the leg work of creating complex personalities, and your audience doesn’t have to do the leg work of falling in love with someone new.
The first 300 pages of War and Peace contain all the confusion and frustration of untangling a tiny, gold necklace because you have no idea who any of the two dozen characters are. But when I pull up a Mulder x Scully casefile fic on AO3, it’s as comforting as a hot bath. Maybe better.
Here’s what I think is fascinating.
Back in my first tumblr heyday, the only kind of fanfiction accepted in the communities I was in was between two existing characters. OCs (original characters) and character x reader fics were unheard of. (Disclaimer: that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You guys remember After.)
Now, though, these character x reader fics are all the rage. I have it on good authority that a Mandalorian x reader fic is what Star Wars fans are obsessing over on TikTok right now. Yes, it is explicit. No, I haven’t read it. But here’s the link anyway, if you’re into that sort of thing.
The thing is, this isn’t all that different from, say, a Poe x Finn fic with the same premise. But the thought of imagining myself in a Star Wars universe? No, thanks.
I think what it boils down to is the fact that in my first tumblr heyday, adults were still preaching about stranger danger on the internet — which at the time felt very new. Now, those rules have mostly eroded, and people are encouraged to be more openly themselves.
What I’m trying to say is that the TikTok generation has moved past projecting and is just willing to take those characters for themselves. I think that’s great for them.
My idea of a good time ❤️
After all this, I know you’re wondering: Jillian, which fictional characters are you in love with? More importantly, which ones are you projecting onto?
We don’t time to unpack all of that (because I don’t want to subject you to it yet), but I will say this. I’ve watched Hannibal a total of three times since last August. And the psychology of love and evil is a really good subject.
I’m by no means suggesting I want to get broken up with by being stabbed. But, boy, I sure do like watching it on my TV.
More on that later.
I’ll leave you with this perfect WikiHow guide called 3 Ways to Cope With Being in Love With a Fictional Character.
If you choose to follow their guide — godspeed and good luck.
Best Valentine’s Day Centric TV Episodes (Objective List)
5. Galentine’s Day — Parks and Recreation
This episode is iconic on principle alone, and the chance for me to shout out all my galentines. You never need an excuse to celebrate platonic (or any kind!) of love, but it’s cute as hell anyway.
4. Valentine’s Day — The Office
This episode has all the fun, cute will-they-won’t-they of early seasons Jim and Pam, and Michael has some of his greatest hit moments wandering around Midtown. I wish I still felt that way about Midtown.
3. The One Where Everybody Finds Out — Friends
This isn’t actually a Valentine’s Day episode. But it did air on February 11th. Whatever. It’s my rec. list, and I get to pick the inconsistencies. This is the best episode of Friends because it has 2 of my favorite things: love and silly, friendly drama. If you want the actual Valentine’s Day episode, though, it’s The One With the Candy Hearts.
2. I Do — Glee
There are fewer episodes of television with more petty drama than this VDay spectacle. Every single member of the Glee Club hooking up with someone else? Kurt and Blaine making out in the back of a car? Emma leaving Will at the altar? Sue wearing an exact replica of her wedding dress? Doesn’t get much better than that.
1. The Gang Tends Bar — It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Coming in at a hot number one is the magnum opus of all Valentine’s Day content ever. BTW, while we’re here, does anybody want to buy me a weapon off the dark web as a surprise, romantic Valentine’s Day gift? No? Maybe next year, then.
That’s all! I love you guys.
(If you love me, too, consider sharing this with your friends and/or lovers!)
Want to tell me about what’s going on in your fandom? Or have me psychoanalyze you based on what your favorite ship dynamic is? Find me on Twitter and Tumblr.